I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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