I should be sponsored by Trojan
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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