i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
