my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
