I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
