the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
