I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
