distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This house was built for laser tag.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
