If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
