some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
