You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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