Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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