i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
