Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
soo... how was my night?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
