I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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