Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
