Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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