Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
