I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
