Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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