I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
