if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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