im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I am naked and annoyed.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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