Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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