Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
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