You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
