It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This is not my ceiling
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
