I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
