Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
