he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
