Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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