yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Only a mothe r could love this liver
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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