I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just had sex on a roof
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
