So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
