Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
