Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
