he puts the penis in happiness.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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