Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My feet surprised me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
