tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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