Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Nicole vs. Life
i dont even know how to be here
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
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