this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
