I want to walk on stilts...naked
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
