Nicole vs. Life
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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