My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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