How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
