You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
