there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
