Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My vagina is officially offended.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
