I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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