I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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