I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
