...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
