i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
